I think my job is getting out of hand when I knew I need to chase payment from customers and today, I even have to pass a termination letter to a colleague that is so much older than me, an elderly. I felt terrible and sorry to know that someone is being terminated, not to say, giving him the letter personally. Previously I think I can never be an accountant cos I keep screwing up boss' financial reports. Now I feel that I can never be a good HR manager cos I'm just too emotionally affected. Especially when he shook our hands saying goodbye, I was really like omg what is happening as I swallowed back my tears. This is really hard for me man. Damnit why am I so weak?! I'm starting to wonder if I really can keep this rice bowl. I seem to be too vulnerable and weak for this job despite the time and effort I placed in it. I feel so lost right now..what should I do?? :'((
When will things really get better for me? I'm just an easily satisfied person but why did I ended feeling so lost and terrible sometimes? How many more tests do I have to go through in life before I can lead a normal and peaceful one? When will I be tough and strong from within and not just an appearance to tell my love ones I don't have to be worried about?