erm...

sian...startin sch tml....hai!! so fast!! parents nw at switzerland...juz receive call frm them~ woohoo!!~ mei cried again when she wk up 2dae...hai..wat 2 do..without mum at hm i found tt i gt alot chores 2 do..sian..jie haven wash clothes...argh!! reali dunno hw 2 sae her...cannt depend on her de...i haf 2 keep naggin n naggin n remind n remind her....halo...i gt my own things 2 do!!!! juz went 2 pour e cooked water in2 e thermoflask..she stil haven go wash clothes!!! argh..wanted 2 do it myself but i dunno hw 2 use e washin machine..haha! hmm..dun wan spoil e washin machine den later we haf 2 hand wash eveli single clothes...hai..hope i can rem 2 do wat mum asked mi 2 do..hope jie do wat she haf 2 do oso! but even so..i stil haf 2 remind her...hai..dunno she's e jie or mi iz e jie...tml startin sch n i haf 2 wk up at 7...oh no...tink i haf 2 wk up even earlier so i can prepare breakfast 4 mei...she oso wkin up at 7...arhh!! tink haf 2 wk up 1/2h earlier den i shud 4 tiz wk..

boorreddddd~~

nt much thing 2 blog...hmm..yinru n gaorui cum my hse on tue n we ordered canadian pizzas 2 eat~ actuali 4gt izzit tue le lah..cant rem..tiz wk haf been slpin 4 more den 12h omost evelidae...but all nt quality slp cos i keep havin dreams n my mei iz sick..she's coughin til v.jia lart..whenever i'm goin 2 fall aslp she sudd cough..haha..tryin 2 gt use 2 it but its q.diffct..tink she went 2 c a doc again 2dae..few daes ago she saw 1 but stil nt ok..hope she quick recover cos she cant eat food she lyk...haha! mei started sch on tue le...she in tp...mi nxt mon startin...arghh!! sch startin soon...so sian!!! hai!! yest she cum hm w jie...she msg mi if i wan drink coffeebean~ so i sae ok...haha! so nice~ when they cum hm..jie saed, "nah..tiz iz 4 u.." n she passed mi a plastic bag...felt weird n surprise...so happi when i open n found tt there's 2 andy's cd!!!~~ woohoo!! these 2 cds r 2nd hand cds she bought at cash converters....long time ago cd...1995 n 1996 de~ 1 iz "xiang si cheng zai"..e other iz "zhen yong yuan"...didnt noe y she bought andy's cds 4 mi but happi!!~~ haha! maeb cos yest iz her last paper..so she nice mood~ haha!

tink most of e ppl wil sae yucks or watever when i sae andy lau..but hu care~ he's 1 impt idol since my childhood~ yest cant gt 2 slp...so listened 2 "zhen yong yuan" cd while lyin on bed...cried when it plaed e 3rd song..."jue bu fang qi"...its e song(chi version) frm e motorbike show "lie huo zhan che"~~ watched alot andy's show durin my childhood daes...listenin 2 his long ago songs or watchin his long ago shows remind mi of my childhood daes n my pri sch frens....e tears juz flow down when i listened 2 "jue bu fang qi"...cos i reali reali damn miss my childhood daes n i noe i cant go back 2 those daes....so i told myself 2 treasure eveliting in my life NW~ i muz cherish eveli moment w my frens n family...aww...controlin my tears again cos i listenin 2 e song again... :'( arghh~ I REALI MISS MY CHILDHOOD N FRENS........hai~

had alot of dreams these few daes...cant rem wat i dreamt but there's 1 dream tellin mi 2 treasure my life...reali 4gt wat izzit bout le...hai~ my parents goin switzerland frm tml onwards...onli back nxt sat...I WAN GO!!! arghh...but sch startin nxt mon!!!! sian~ there's onli e 3 of us at hm 4 1 whole wk...actuali i q.happi cos it means we'r free 2 do aniting 4 e cumin wk...but we'll haf 2 help out e chores at hm n mk our own dinner n blah blah....hai~ mum asked mi cook water eveli nite 4 e cumin wk..scared i 4gt...den 3 of us wun haf water 2 drink liao...guess i've 2 do alot chores cos jie workin n mei studyin..thou mi oso studyin but mum tinks tt i gt hm earliest so i shall do e chores..hai...tt means i haf 2 tk care of e hse (w e help of both sis) when they r in switzerland...duh~~ enjoy tkin care of e hse yun! -_-

nice ppl~

went 2 sentosa w zhaowei at bout noon...cos he wan mi go meet his 2 frens -- junming n jasmine...at 1st didnt wan go cos 1stly i onli go sentosa w v.close frens...2ndly my toe abit swollen..dun wan touch sand n sea water...haha! so dun feel lyk goin...but in e end stil go lah..haha...no regret goin~ reali nice meetin them..they r nice n frenly...haha~ at sentosa they went 2 plae e water..while i sit nearby n plae hp game..haha! cos i dunno wat wil happen 2 my toe if i touch e sea water...i dun wan my toe rot...arhaha! den they cum up n plae w mi after awhile...keke! v.nice of them...den zhaowei bring mi go billabong shop 2 find her god-sis...haha...1st time c her...found tt she's xtremely frenly~~ arhaha! as if we've known each other long ago...she's v.nice n amiable!! she oso pisces de..same as mi~ lyk her e moment she sae hi 2 mi..haha!! nw i noe y zhaowei luv her so much~ hahaha! cos she's juz so nice~ pretty too! she bring us out e shop n showed us her rabbit...its so small n cute!!! woohooo~~ usuali i dun dare 2 carry small animals on my hand de..dunno y tiz time when she passed mi e rabbit i actuali carry it n keep on sayang it...arhhaa!! maeb its too cute le~ aniwae happi 2 meet her~ tink she's call emily bah..hehe..went back 2 siloso beach after meetin her..zhaowei continue 2 plae w them...all 4 of us went 2 look 4 emily 2 sae gdbye b4 leavin sentosa 2 marina bay 4 steamboat..reach there bout 7 le bah..nt v.sure leh..den their fren -- zhenghao (or zhenhao? nt sure...) cum n we ate steamboat 2gether~ another frenli guy...farni oso..haha! i'm so happi 2 meet 4 new frens 2dae...sumore all lyk so frenly n nice 2 mi..ahha~ touched!~ enjoyed my dae~ thanks zhaowei 4 lettin mi noe them!!~ tink i gt a little bit tanned...sumore e 2 colours on my arm will b more obvious le..arghhhhh~~~~~~~

~useless mi~

well..lazy 2 blog leh...hai..ehh..mon pei elise go boexercise cos yanxi's sick..in e end e instructor didnt cum..so went back srg meet qiaolin, lionel n thomas at a coffeeshop...went hm at 9+...bf msg mi but i bathin..by e time i cum out he lites off liao..so didnt contact each other on mon...chatted w guocheng 4 3h on phone til 6.30...haha! cos his mum wk up liao..sumore my mum oso wkin up soon 2 wk my mei hu's slpin beside mi...so we quickly hang e phone n went 2 slp liao..

wk up at 12+ noon(tue) 2 msg elise tt i nt goin w her n qiaolin 2 TM le..den i continue slp...she reply mi at 1+...in end i go w her..haha! cos she sound bored..i felt bad..so went w her 2 meet qiaolin n lionel..reach tm liao n soon thomas cum..den we walked ard..went 2 plae pool...or shud i sae i watch them plae lah..cos i dunno hw 2 plae...hehe! went 2 s'pore conference hall at bout 7.45pm 2 watch a piano concert w elise..she didnt wan 2 go at 1st..but her mum sae e tic wrote her name liao..so we go lor~ e piano concert was nt bad...nice!!~ i enjoyed listenin 2 classical music since young when i learnin 2 plae piano...but i'll fell aslp after listenin 4 a period..slp 4 5h nia..of cos tired le mah..hehe! went hm after e concert...waited 4 whole nite til 3+...bf didnt msg mi....received his msg at 5..but i slpin...by e time i c his msg its oready 7+..so didnt reply him cos noe he's msgin mi without permissn again...

2dae(wed) bout 12 wk up by mum askin mi pei her go guang ming shan...arghh..so tired lor~ thot i can slp longer 2dae since i nt goin out..hai..but stil cant...papa drove e 2 of us there...we waited 4 3rd aunt n cousin at e bus stp b4 goin in2 e temple 2gether...luv e environment in e temple~ its peaceful n quiet!! hmm..was considerin 2 go there when i feel stress n wan die...or go bcum a nun oso nt a bad idea...went 2 j8 w them after all e prayin..went 2 ntuc w mum after they left..received elise's call askin if i can pei her watch movie at 9.30..cos she sae she dun wan go alone w 2 guys..hhaa...den i asked she w hu..wee siong n thomas...these r her frens lor~ haha! but i understd hw she feel lah..xplained 2 mum 4 a period of time n told her tt i can go hm w jie...cos she nt happi i go out at nite...arghh!!! after she noe i can go hm w jie den she mian qiang let mi go...hai!!!! sad lah!!

mi owaes hope 2 go out late at nite..but cant!! at most can onli go downstair at nite...but no 1 will pei mi go downstair 2 watch stars in e middle of e nite lor!!! onli tt time when beina cum my hse taunt den she pei mi go downstair watch stars til 3 den go back hm..hai...i reali v.pathetic...onli can let ppl cum my hse taunt n i cant taunt outside...shit life lah!!! "ppl.....cum my hse taunt n plae w mi leh~"arghh!!! i'm tokkin crap here....HAI!!! hu wil wan cum my hse n pei mi till middle of nite lor...?!! I DREAMIN AGAIN!!! JUZ KILL MI LAH~~ LIFE SUX!!!

aniwae went 2 watch amityville horror w elise n 5 other guys...didnt wan 2 watch horror movie cos i've nv watch horror movie in a cinema b4....but elise sae she dun wan a ger go w so mani guys..hai..so i pei her go~ *hse of wax nt counted cos its nt horror..its disgustin~* well...e show keep shockin mi...den i shouted...dunno hw 2 sae lah..haha! idiot jie scare mi when i typin tiz part!!!!! arghh!!!!! i keep recallin e movie scenes while typin at tiz moment..so i asked her cum livin rm pei mi...den she walked awae n hide at a corner w her hair covered her face.....WAH LAO! SHIT LAH OK!! TIZ IZ REALI FREAKIN MI!!! few daes ago i told my family tt i felt lyk changin my specs 2 contact lens..cos e reflectn on my specs mk mi hu si luan xiang..keep tinkin tt i c shadows...arghh!! n nw i recallin e scenes she lyk tt scare mi!!! nw f***in scared cos i'm alone in e livin rm w onli dim lites switched on behind mi!!! shitty feelin!!! arghh!! y i'm so timid!!!! USELESS MI!!! arghh!!

elise sae i shock her durin e movie..haha!! cos when i shout, i shock her...haha!! dunno lah...she sae she heard mi shout den she shout..i oso heard her shout den i shout de leh...arhahah!!! aniwae...ppl...dun ask mi watch scary movie w u cos i'll reali freak u w my shoutin!~ arhah! juz lyk hw i did 2 elise..but she sae its entertainin...muhahah!! luckily mon didnt go watch tiz movie w junjie n gaorui..if nt i tink i'll b killed by them...arhahha!! waited 4 bf's msg n he didnt msg mi again...hai~ tink he's reali busy tiz few daes...cos e msg he sent mi at 5 tell mi tt he trained til 1+am n slp 4 onli 3h...so...well...he's busy....

*wink*

fri
xinyi's bdae..happi bdae!! went 2 ps w her, peiru, beina n peiyu...enjoyed ourselves at pizzahut!! ate alot alot!! ordered 2 set lunch..1 ideal for 1 person while e other 4 ppl---5 soups, 5 drinks, 2 reg pizzas, 1 baked pasta, 1 plate of onion rings n chicken wings~ used up e whole bottle of cheese pizzahut placed on e table...haha! yummy~ ate til v.full n stil left 2 pieces of pizzas..so we cut e 2 pieces into smaller pieces n we plaed zhong ji mi ma so tt e loser eat 1 small piece...beina was v.full so we let her b e person hu gif e no..when its my turn..i juz haf e feelin i noe wats beina's no..haha! i guessed e no on her mind 4 e 1st 2 games....its reali eerie cos i juz noe wats her no! dunno y...haha! i juz gt e no in my heart...so 4 e 3rd game..i dun wan sae e no tt form in mind..haha! aniwae in e end eveli 1 has at least a piece of pizza 2 finish..xinyi n i gt 2~ saw heng wee when i change place w beina 2 tk pic w peiru..so long nv c my pri fren..happi~ went 2 tk neoprints w them..tk twice cos e 1st time cant reali c clearly..enjoyed alot!
sat
felt my hse rockin again when i wk up...earthquake in sumatra again i guess..tiz time reali q.serious cos i was rockin 2 n fro while brushin teeth..thot yest drink til start 2 imagine things nw..haha..luckily i'm nt hallucinatin~ went out w elise n yanxi 2 e flea market near zouk..walked ard 4 few hr b4 tkin bus 2 heeren~ went 2 chat w elise's fren who iz workin in heeren...we sat there n chatted q.long...i was sittin w yanxi near e fittin rm chattin while elise chattin w her fren..den when i turn my head i saw jessica!!! i was v.blur n didnt reali noe wat happen...i was lookin ard n den i saw her~ she called, "lum!" n i looked at her n shouted her name~ hahahah! i'm soo sooo sooooo happi n surprise 2 c her!!!!!~ haha! q.long nv c her..*thou less den a mth nia..hah!*...v.happi 2 c her there~ actuali was wonderin if she's w her bf at orchard cos she told mi she owaes go town w her bf eveli sat..tinkin of askin if she's at orchard but didnt..in e end saw her..woohoo~~~~~ went 2 eat wantan noodle inside heeren at bout 8..den chatted awhile n they pei mi wait 4 bf~ enjoyed their accompanion! thanks frens~ bf lost his wae while cumin heeren..haha! blur lyk mi...no sense of directn too~ didnt noe he cum til elise sudd sae hi..haha! cos was tokkin n lookin ard..so didnt c him..elise actuali told him 2 tk gd care of mi b4 leavin w yanxi..arhaha! 1st time c him nia..she's reali frenly n nice..haha! v.honoured n glad 2 haf frens lyk e both of u!!~~ bf agreed w mi tt both r pretty!!~~ walked ard orchard n den 2 ps..saw yenlin outside wisma n roger at ps...didnt sae hi 2 both of them cos dun reali noe them n nt close 2 them..went 2 BK cos bf's hungry...plaed w his hp while he eat..found tt his hp games so fun!~ my games lyk so borin de...aniwae he pei mi tk train till srg so i pei him walked 2 interchg..its rainin when we cum out of e mrt...e moment we reached interchg 105 cum..so i told him quickly tt his bus iz here..haha! tink he wun noe if i nv tell him...rite zhaowei?? hahah!! called hm n papa picked up e phone..asked him fetch mi cos its rainin q.heavily n i cant go hm..so papa n mummy fetched mi hm~ luckily papa haven slp..keke!

yeah!

woohoo~~~ i've finaly change my blogskin!!!!!!! hahaha!! izzit nice???? thanks 2 my mei..she helped mi put in de....i edit liao den dunno hw 2 put in..so asked her helped mi juz nw..hohoho~~~ change liao change liao~~~~ yeah! chose e blog song 4 more den 3h....finaly decide 2 use fish's zui xiang huan you de shi jie~ luv tiz song!~~ it mae sound abit weird bah..but stil...its v.nice!! wil nt change 4 e time bein...actuali wanted 2 use mayday's shi guang ji..but prefer tiz song bah..nxt time i wan change lin xiao pei's xin dong!!!!!~~ was tinkin so hard 2 put fish's song or lin xiao pei's.....finaly chose fish's zui xiang huan you de shi jie!~woohoo!!

arghh~

i'm so sian nw!!!!~~~ i wan change my blogskin!!!!! oready dl e skin liao.....but dunno hw 2 do!!! haaha!! i'm a com idiot!!! arghh!!! oready dl e skin i wan n thot of e song i wan put liao.....but.......HW?!!!!! sian!!!!!!!!!

blur liao..

woohoo~ 2dae iz 11th again!! its our 2 mth anni..iz lyk i'm tinkin bout tiz e whole dae...since i wk up at 4..i was tinkin if he rem nt..haha! den juz nw online...jie xin sudd tok 2 mi on msn...askin which course i gt in...den i v.shock! cos 2dae iz e dae i'll noe which course i gt in!!!!! arghhh~~ i actuali 4gt..haha! was tellin myself few daes ago tt 2dae wil noe e course...n when e dae cum..i 4gt!!! wahah! reali v.blur nw....as if gt a big shock...dunno y...maeb 2dae wk up abit feelin high...cos 2 mth le...n den sudd noe which course i gt in...i gt in2 tourism?!!!! HUH!!?? omg! i nv thot i can gt in2 my 1st choice!! cos my result sux...n alot ppl chose tourism...so mi oready prepare 2 gt in2 my 3rd choice..which iz supply chain management...nw i sudd noe i gt in tourism...i reali v.blur nw lah..duno wat i'm tokkin oready...i need 2 cool down.....breathe in.....breathe out.......whew.....hai....stil v.blur...2dae wanted 2 go cut hair w mum...in e end didnt cos her back pain..she saed last time hurt her back..juz nw sudd pain..so i didnt go cut hair...maeb tml or wat bah..asked yinru wat course she gt in n she saed tourism!!~~ woooohhooo~~ yeah!!! hope we gt in2 e same cls!!!!!!! reali reali reali hope so!!!!!!!!!!!

y happiness iz owaes short 4 mi....

cant reali rem wat i did 4 e past few daes..erm..sat...ohh! went out w yanxi 2 buy mothers' dae present..den meet up elise b4 meetin her 3 frens...they r elise's clsmates...feel tt they r soo frenly n v.nice 2 tok 2!! feel honour n happi 2 noe them~ in tiz world nwadaes...its reali hard 2 find such nice n true frens..tts y i felt great noein them~ reach hm bout 12+ den online rot..slp at bout 5+..sun wk up at 11 cos our family goin ah ma's hse...mum wk mi up 2 help her c if e mash potato iz ok..oh! it's mothers' dae n after goin ah ma's hse..we went 2 thomson plaza 4 awhile...was feelin v.happi n high on sun~~ its been such long time since i'm reali feelin happi n high frm inside e heart....tts e happiest dae~ haf nt been happi frm inside e heart 4 ages...oready 4gt e TRUE happiness feelin...even thou i mae look cheerful 2 u...tts nt frm inside e heart de..i'm juz tryin 2 b happi cos ppl ard mi owaes feelin down or gt prob 2 solve..so haf 2 b cheerful n mk them feel better..hw 2 b happi when u c ur luv ones r sad n havin alot prob 2 solve..sumtimes i juz feel tt i'm bcumin zi bi...haven been happi since sec le..sun iz e dae after ages where i finaly feel TRUE HAPPINESS...but happiness has nv lasted more den a dae 2 mi....

thot i can communicate better w mum le..but 2dae nt in gd term again...hai!! dunno hw 2 sae lah!!! we were stil luffin happily on sun nia.....2dae no more....argh! drank alcohol w jie while watchin tv at nite..bout 9 i went online 2 dl e blogskin i wan..yanxi sudd called n asked mi go athar..so i offline n decided 2 go...mum was nt happi cos she saed i juz drank n stil wan go out at tiz time..den i sae i'm ok n my face red nt cos i'm drunk..so i went 2 my rm n changed clothes..but after i changed my clothes..i thot bout it n msg yanxi tt i nt goin le...when i unlock my rm's door..jie cum in sae, " u stil wan go out arh? mum juz nw v.angry leh..she gif a face n walked out of e hse liao..." i told her i nt goin out liao n she asked den y i in e rm so long...i told her cos i msgin yanxi tt i nt goin le mah..asked her wat face mum gif n she saed, "lyk a heck care tiz family face.." HAI!!! heard tiz liao my heart numb...cant feel or hear or tink aniting...gt e feelin tt i'm in pitch darkness where i cant even c my fingers...i felt damn terrible!! i reali cant xplain...den i changed back my hm clothes n watched tv again..papa go downstair find mum...i continued 2 watch my show but i was stonin sumtimes..den i opened e tibit i bought on fri...ate abit n shared w both my sis..den i was feelin more n more terrible til i poured alcohol drink again...went 2 toilet wash face after e show ended at 11..n my tears juz keep flowin...went 2 my rm without e lites on..tried 2 dry my tears n den stoned in front of e curtains...jie cum in n asked if i wan join her 2 go downstair ask mum hm..cos she dun wan cum hm when papa go downstair 2 tell her go hm juz nw..i did nt ans my jie cos i duno hw 2 sae...tears started flowin again..she told mi, "dun lyk tt...wan go down w mi 2 find mum??" i stil kept quiet n she left...

hai...actuali i wanted 2 go down w her...but my tears keep flowin n i juz cant stp it...i noe mum wil feel better if she c mi go find her...i noe...i reali noe...hai...i felt damn lousy n useless!!!!!!!!!!!! feel tt my presence iz a burden 2 eveli 1 n i dunno y n wat 4 i live in tiz world....felt damn lousy!!! i'm utterly useless..onli noe hw 2 cry lyk a tap!!!! damn idiot!! cried when i c yanxi's replied.."u r livin cos u haf gd frens lyk us!"...thanks ger...hai...cry liao n stp...stp liao tears cumin again....felt a little bit better when i hear mum tokkin at e livin rm...at least noe she's back liao...but stil felt terrible inside...even when i'm typin these i stil can cry...hai...juz dunno wats happenin 2 mi...m i REALI goin mad?? few daes ago i dreamt tt i tk a chopstick-lyk weapon n poked 2 men's heart...ehh...dunno e 2nd 1 iz human or ghost......den i felt bad so i tried 2 kill myself by jumpin off a buildin..but nt successful...tried 2 or 3 times i'm stil livin as healthy lyk nahtin happen...so i tk a penknife n cut 2 parallel lines on my left wrist..saw 2 lines on my wrist n den soon i wk up liao...hai...nv haf tiz kind of dream b4!!! tiz iz e 1st time...tink i gttin more n more depressed...iz tiz depression??? tink i cant slp well again later...stil haf 2 wk up earli cos meetin elise at noon..eyes sure swollen cos cry too much n cos i drink alcohol...hai...sian!

1st time~

whoo~~~ met grace n elise at bout noon n went 2 roxy square...cos we accompanyin elise's 2 haf her tattoo session...didnt noe yanxi nt cumin..elise told mi she has cca until 6...so cant go...but 2dae elise oso nv do her tattoo..cos e guy busy...den we waited frm 1+ to 7 at e shop..while waitin..we went 2 look at a guy hu's havin tattoo..tiz iz e 1st time i c ppl tattoo~ shawn's so skillfull...can even joke w us when he doin e tattoo on e guy..ppl sae he looks lyk andy lau...arhhaa!! tt time 1st time c him...dun find it at all...but 2nd time saw him at athar..he looks abit lyk andy lah..well...actuali stil ok bah..as yanxi has saed..his features r v.nice..tiz i agree~ haha! aniwae..we juz look at him doin e tattoo n soon 3 guys cum n 1 of them let baldwin tattooed...so we look at both n den soon we sat at e sofa...doin nahtin...went hm at ard 7...tk 135 w elise..thot e bus goin in2 srg interchg..so i didnt alight at my stp..den when she wk up n told mi e bus nt goin srg interchg n she's alightin at e 2nd stp after my stp..i shock..haha! but nvm..its a short wae n i can gif myself a chance 2 haf a walk hm~~~ sumore feel lyk buyin alcohol..so walked past a minimart n called jie asked her wat she wan...she wan alot tibits n choc..n she told mi our hse gt alcohol le..so i can spend e rest of my $ on tibits n choc..haha! in e end nv buy..onli buy 2 packets of calbee prawn crackers, 2 packets of tomato twisties, 2 bars of nestle crunch n nestle double choc...7 small packets of kit kats.........tink my jie n i wil gain at least 5kg...haha! hmm..maeb i'll stuff all e food 2 her....

disappointed

nt feelin gd nw...he called mi at bout 9.30..we tok bout 1/2h....asked him y he can msg mi 5+ in e mornin 2dae..he saed he secretly msg mi cos he noe his sergents they all stil slpin..haha...was happi he actuali msg mi when he cant at tt time..maeb cos he didnt msg mi 4 2 days le...so he dun wan mk mi worry..mi onli juz slp 4 awhile when he msg mi..yest was tired actuali..but i juz dun wan go 2 slp earli..so i tk out my pacc tut 2 do while listenin 2 radio songs..slp ard 4...aniwae juz nw tokkin 2 him on phone...den when we sudd tok bout a topic..i was v.surprise n shock of his reply.....of cos damn disappointed too...can sae abit heart broken...well..maeb 2 most guys its ok 2 haf 1 nite stand...but 2 e gers i believe.....at least 4 mi lah....i wun accept bah...was reali shock w his reply...disappointed~~

after we hang e phone..he msg mi tt he knew i noe sumting bout him tt disappoints mi..but dun tink tt he dun mind bout it means he approve of it..doesnt mean tt he'll even do it..dun tink he did do wat he saed 2 mi when he went in2 army..believe in him tt he wil do wat he saed? tts wat he msged mi...asked him wat he saed tt time...he told mi liao den i rem..he told mi he tink i can xpect more disppointin things frm him in future...well....i reali hope nt lah..cos i'm startin 2 put in effort in tiz r/s after tt tok w elise n yanxi...most of my frens n my jie feel tt i'm nt in2 tiz r/s n tink tt mi didnt put in ani effort at all...*i agree lah..q.true..*...stil rem jessica told mi 2 tink more 4 myself instead of others...if nt wil b v.tirin 4 mi....ppl oso tellin mi 2 break or put in more effort..so i gaf myself a chance 2 b w him~ tt means put in more effort!! so...i haf 2 believe wat he sae...perhaps it might hurt mi 1 dae?? i dunno...reali dunno...

blog song

wanted 2 change 2 tiz song on sun oready..but tt time was feelin gd..so e previous song suits my happi mood more...but nw...i'm nt feelin gd...abit upset n damn heavy hearted nw....abit upset cos he nv msg mi again...dunno wat happen..maeb he's busy n no time msg mi...sent him a msg in e afternn apologisin tt i didnt reali msg him yest..den at nite sent him another msg askin y he nv msg mi..izzit he's tired...anticipatin him 2 reply but he didnt....well...so abit upset...but i'm nt gonna tink much...cos my best fren's deeply hurt nw....tts y damn heavy hearted....its reali damn hurtin when u r bein betrayed...maeb sum of u dun understd wat i tokkin...tt doesnt matter...cos u dun haf 2 noe aniting..tts all i can sae...tk care fren...

btw i changed e blog song 2 張惠妹 的 "聽海"...

heavy hearted...

well...no mood 2 blog lah...been out w elise yest..2dae oso went out w yanxi n elise...nahtin much 2 sae oso...they went 2 sign up 4 drivin basic theory thing lah...duno call wat...at nite met marielle n grace at athar...haf a great chat w them..its lyk more den 4 yrs since e 5 of us sit 2gether n chat....stil rem sec 1 we owaes go recess 2gether de..aniwae..its nice c-in them ard...n i reali hope my frens r happi...thou i noe its diffct 2 b happi whenever unxpected things happen lah...but stil...lets try our best 2 b happi k??

if u r nt a ger...pls stp readin frm nw on!!! I MEAN IT! BUT EVEN IF U READ..I OSO BO BIAN..OSO..IF U R NT MY BEST FREN..U BETTER STP BHB-IN N STP READIN LE ALRITE!!! THANKS ALOT....
tink i in no place 2 comment or advice u lah ger...tts y i tok little n kept quiet...well..he's reali a f***in cb bastard...dun tink he'll wk up n feel tt he's wrong lor..unless he "touch nails" himself n when he wk up....*tt iz when he wk up lah..* let him live in guilt n regretness...ITS HIS LOSS!! i noe u r numb liao...its diffct 2 4gt him nw perhaps...but i noe u can 4gt him de!!~ i noe u tryin ur best...but slowly k...tiz ting tks time n its reali a matter of time...reali hope all tiz wil b over soon~ meanwhile find things 2 keep urself busy lyk findin frens 2 chat or go out breath air...dun haf 2 feel bad cos of askin mi out often!! cos i reali dun mind n i'm HAPPI 2 go out w u de...dun haf 2 tink hw others lyk my parents feel de lor....u r my best fren! lyk if ur frens gt prob or r bored..i believe u will b there 4 them too de mah..rite? so...feel free 2 ask mi out k....we'll owaes b there 4 u!!! hope u r ok n b happi....i noe u r v.strong....but u muz b strong in ur heart too...stp smokin so much n eat at least abit thou i noe u keep saein no appetite...well...I BELIEVE U WILL B STRONG ENUFF DE~ juz rem we'll b there 4 u k...

=)

hoho! juz nw met zhaowei at tanjong pagar...was late 4 more den 15min i tink....hai...i'm owaes late...so soli...arghhh~ den he realised e place he wan go iz at city hall...hahah!! blur~ so we tk train 2 city hall n spent time walkin ard e area...went 2 cd shop cos he finali decided 2 buy lee hom's newest album--xin zhong de ri yue~~ woohoo!!~ finali noe its a nice album eh! arhaha!! went 2 funan it mall walk ard n we even walk 2 fort cannin park..ahrha! but onli climb a few stairs nia n i felt droplets of water...goin 2 rain...so didnt go in e end..walk ard b4 goin 2 a shoppin centre..dunno wat plaza iz tt...there's alot thais..ah nehs...omost fainted..haha! den we went 2 a toy shop n decided 2 buy jigsaw puzzle nxt time~ cos sudd feel lyk doin 1000 pieces de..so we go buy nxt time k?~~ hehe! den we walk ard n went 2 precious thots in raffles place..look at jigsaw puzzle again...so ex!! haha..but e pic stil nt bad lah..juz tt there's too few 2 choose..so continue 2 walk ard..he feel lyk buyin bks so went 2 mph..after awhile we stp at e corner w r/s bks..look 4 q.long n he wanted 2 buy..haha! but in e end nv cos he sae wait 4 his nxt pay..keke! bkworm~ its goin 6 n he meetin his frens at marina bay...so i pei him tk train 2 marina bay b4 tkin train hm...tink he feel bad tt i pei him tk til marina bay..hha! cant ask u pei mi hm cos u meetin frens at 6 mah..aiyah...nxt time u pei mi tk train hm!! ok??~~ haha!!

was in gd mood 2dae~ haha! cos feel tt zhaowei n i manage 2 tok more le...hmm...oso cos elise n yanxi tok 2 mi bout my r/s w my bf on fri..they felt tt i'm lyk nt in a r/s..blahblah..wun elaborate here...juz wan sae i thot alot when they tok 2 mi online..either i put in more effort in our r/s or break...cos they felt tt no pt in continuin if i sian sian..even my jie told mi tiz chi saein "short pain better den long pain"....so i thot alot while tokkin 2 them..n told them i decided 2 put in more effort n gif myself a chance~ told my bf i'm goin 2 put in more effort in our r/s n he saed he will put in more effort too~ hopefully we'll last longer den i xpected~ haha!

while typin tiz blog heard alot alot nice songs!!! i'm so happi! gt andy lau's "太想爱" (my all time fav song!! he's my idol!!! woohoo!~~)....周蕙's "话题" live version...mayday's "温柔" live version....kelly chen's "记事本" live version....daniel chan's "般若波罗蜜" (my idol too!~)....david tao's "爱很简单"....woohoo~~

stars~~

slp at 7 in e mornin cos cant slp again..hai..den i msg peiru n beina 2 ask if they wan eat mash potato later when we go beach..n peiru replied mi! haha! she oready wk up while i haven even go slp yt...hai..but reali cant fall aslp..aniwae..wk up at 11.30 n mk mash potato..used 5 potatoes..add 13 crab sticks n 5 pieces of cheese in2 e mash potato..woohoo~~ yummy!! supposed 2 meet them at 4.30 pasir ris..but i was late 4 1/2h!! omg...soli frens!! aniwae..we bought old chang kee n tibits b4 tkin bus 2 e beach..found a place at e big rock 2 sit..sat there 4 few hrs...lie on e rock n stare at e sky full of stars~~~ so nice n coolin!! i luv stars!! woohoo~~ sat there...chatted...luffed..ate alot..stared at e stars..fun! enjoyed myself at e beach again w them!~ its reali been a long time since we go beach le..so happi we went again 2dae~ tk e bus back 2 pasir ris interchg at 10+...den i tk e train 2 tampiness cos my jie n her bf tkin cab so longbang mi hm...on e train 2 tampiness i omost died....cos when i entered e train..its smelly! sumore e train stppin 4 a while b4 movin mah..den while waitin e doors 2 close i omost died..sumore there's a china guy sittin at e side w his frens...starin at mi! wah lao...disgustin fellow! i noe he lookin at mi..so i stared at him hard n even frown...he gei gei look other places when i stared at him..damn irritated w wat he did..he continued 2 stare at mi when i nt lookin at him..n look other places when i stared at him...cb gia! damn er xin!!! go die lah...dig ur eyes out den u noe! arghhh!! smelly train n disgustin guy!!! yucks!! when i told peiru bout tiz she asked mi y i owaes attract ah nehs n china guys....arhhaha!! hw wld i noe? juz cos i'm white? haha! duno lah...yucks!~